Not A Happy Bunny
by Lissy Strata
Summary: AU fic in which Susan stays for another series and Ian has an out-of-species experience. (Featuring One, Susan, Vicki, Ian, and Barbara)
1. Furry Little Problem

Ever since Vicki had come aboard the TARDIS, she and Susan had been inseparable. Susan needed a friend her own age, and Vicki needed a family, so this arrangement couldn't have been more welcome. They got along well, often staying up late talking in their shared bedroom, or otherwise plotting. Usually against Ian. It was nothing malicious. A science lesson on another planet had simply evolved gradually into an elaborate prank war between the three of them.

The unspoken rule was that the pranks had to be scientific in nature. Last week, Ian used a bit of chemistry to trick the girls into dyeing themselves purple. Now they were planning their retaliation.

"It's a thing earth magicians used to do all the time," said Vicki

"A rabbit out of a hat?" Susan asked, "That's silly!"

Vicki nodded. "Exactly! It's silly, but it's also just a trick. Sleight of hand and a little misdirection to make the audience believe that the rabbit just appeared out of thin air in the hat."

"But Ian doesn't wear a hat."

"No, but he could wear a rabbit."

"...I think there's an old transporter ray in a cupboard somewhere."

* * *

Ian and Barbara were sitting in the dining area eating some breakfast from the food dispenser. Today they'd smashed the cubes out of a desire for something that wasn't cube-shaped. The Doctor walked in.

"Good morning," they greeted him.

"There's no such thing as morning on this ship," he replied, "Time is relative here, and such distinctions are entirely unnecessary."

"It's nice to see you, too," Barbara said.

The Doctor ignored her remark. "I came in to say that I'm about to perform some routine maintenance on the ship's systems and I was wondering if you would be interested in assisting, Chatterton."

"Chesterton," he corrected automatically, "Yes, I would."

"No, you're Chesterton. I'm the Doctor. Do pay attention, dear boy!" The Doctor strode out of the room, muttering. Barbara couldn't hold back her laughter at the exasperated look on Ian's face.

"Well!" he said.

"Oh, go on. I'll clean up."

Ian left to go catch up with the Doctor. As Barbara cleared away the breakfast things, Susan and Vicki ran though the room.

"Where are you two off to in such a rush?" she asked. They stopped at the door and she noticed Susan was holding some sort of mechanical cylindrical device. "And what's that?"

"Nothing..." they said in unison in a tone of voice calculated to be nonchalant. As a professional educator, Barbara knew better.

"This doesn't have anything to do with you two being purple, does it?"

They denied it, a little too explicitly. "Of course not! No, we're just going to...disassemble it. To see how it works." said Susan.

"See if we can put it back together again."

Barbara suspected they were up to something, but couldn't think of what it might be. "Look, whatever you two are planning, don't go overboard. All right?" They nodded and continued on their way.

* * *

It was a little while later that the girls were ready to proceed with their prank. Unwittingly assisting them was Sandy II. They'd picked up the little rabbit on another planet as a replacement for the original Sandy, whom Barbara had sort of shot dead. Usually, the Doctor would have been dead set against pets on the ship, but Susan and Vicki had combined their powers of persuasion with great success. They just had to take proper care of it and keep it in their room. So they'd built a little hutch for the rabbit and programmed a few subroutines into the TARDIS that would ensure Sandy would be fed and watered should they be away from the ship for a long time.

Now the transporter was fully charged, and Sandy was about to have the ride of his life.

* * *

Ian felt odd.

A few seconds ago, he'd been assisting the Doctor with some wiring. Then..._something_...had happened and now he was...well, he wasn't quite sure. He was almost certain that he was still on the TARDIS, but everything felt wrong somehow. He tried to look around, but his brain couldn't make sense of what his eyes were telling him. Colours were missing and his depth perception was all wonky, and yet somehow he was seeing even more than should have been normal. Wider field of vision? What?

The rest of his senses weren't much help, either. Every little sound was amplified and there was such an assortment of smells that he sneezed several times. Dizzy and disoriented, he tried to stand up and get his bearings, but his limbs refused to cooperate and he overbalanced and fell down a ramp he hadn't seen.

"Oh, Sandy!"

Vicki?

Ian realised that what he was leaning against was a criss-crossed wire mesh. He heard swift footsteps and looked up to see Vicki standing over him opening a little door in the wire. Before he knew what was happening, he felt himself being picked up.

"Aww, are you all right?" cooed Vicki. Ian just stared at her, completely baffled. What was she doing? And since when was she strong enough to lift him? Oddly enough, it was more difficult for him to make out her face up close like this. He looked around and noticed that he was in the girls' room. Susan was sitting at her desk, messing with a cylindrical piece of equipment.

"I don't know why it didn't work," she was saying, "Perhaps it didn't charge properly?"

Vicki started scratching his head. Ian moved to push her away and froze when he saw a small paw where his hand should have been. He looked down at himself. Two more paws. Rather _large_ paws, and a little fluff of a tail. And a large amount of fur...

He scrambled backwards, panicking, and ended up falling out of Vicki's arms and crashing to the floor.

"What's got into him?"

"I don't know."

He tried once again to stand up, but his legs didn't work that way and he fell over. Finally, he righted himself and clapped his hands...paws to his face. Furry. And he felt what were unmistakably two long ears. What the...he was a _rabbit?!_ Impossible! But as he twisted and turned to look at himself, he realised he was furry all over. He looked up at Susan and Vicki who were staring at him, confused.

Vicki knelt down and reached out to him, but he backed away. "Sandy?" she asked. Oh, no. No. This was not happening. Susan came over beside her.

"Wait, you don't think..." she began, then hesitantly asked, "...Ian?"

Unable to speak, he nodded. Their eyes widened in shock. "I thought you said that thing was a teleporter!" exclaimed Vicki.

"It is! It must be malfunctioning or something..."

"Malfunctioning like this?!"

"I don't know!"

"Well, we'd better figure it out quickly," said Vicki, "because I think Ian's going to be hopping mad." Her lips twitched and in second both girls were overcome with giggles. Ian huffed and thumped angrily on the ground to get their attention, but it only made them laugh harder.

"Aw, don't be upset. You're absolutely adorable!" Susan tickled him under the chin. He glared at her, but they weren't deterred. It was difficult to look imposing when you were only six pounds soaking wet. He settled for turning his back on their teasing since the door was shut and he was unlikely to be able to open it. They cooed at him for several more minutes, poking and petting him, much to his growing irritation.

"Oh, come _on_, girls!" he thought. "You've had your fun, now fix this!" He thumped the floor a few more times before they finally relented.

"All right," said Susan. "Let's get you back to normal." At last! She patted the desk chair. "Hop up," she instructed, prompting another giggle from Vicki. Ian did so with great dignity, surprised at how easily he could leap.

The lights flickered a split second before the ship suddenly bucked violently and then fell straight down. In an instant, it rose up again, spinning and jerking wildly. The girls screamed as everything was plunged into darkness for a few seconds and then just as suddenly, everything stopped. The dim emergency lighting switched on. They had been thrown into a corner of the room, the floor tilted at an odd angle. Fortunately, both girls were unhurt and Susan had grabbed Ian as soon as the chaos had started, keeping him from becoming badly injured.

"Oh, no!" said Vicki. She pointed at the transporter device, which was now on the floor. It had snapped in two.

* * *

"Good heavens!" exclaimed Barbara, "What _happened?!_"

Ian Chesterton lay sprawled on the floor of the TARDIS, surrounded by a large bundle of wires, some of which were still emitting the odd spark. "I'm afraid I just don't know!" the Doctor replied, "He was helping me with a few basic repairs when he stopped responding to anything! Then all of a sudden he just...well, he went mad. Started scrambling about, tearing at the wiring, and well you felt the rest." They were still feeling the rest. The ship had been still after all of that, but now it was periodically lolling around like a ship at sea.

She knelt down and placed a hand over Ian's forehead. "Is he all right?"

"He's had a rather large shock, my dear. I'm afraid he's in critical condition. We must get him to the medical bay immediately." Without any further hesitation, the two of them lifted Ian's body and carried him out.

* * *

"I've found the problem!" exclaimed Susan. Ian sat up, hopeful. "This chip here," she held it up, "this is entirely the wrong type for a transporter. It's not supposed to be in this at all. _That's_ why it swapped their minds instead."

"How'd it get in there in the first place?" asked Vicki.

"I don't know."

"Perhaps somebody was bored at work and thought they'd-"

Ian thumped on the desk to try and keep them on task. He tapped on one half of the device with a front paw. "Oh, of course." Susan picked up the piece. "Well, the good news is that it's not actually broken, just cheap. It's designed to come apart like that, but it didn't do it quite right. But it can be fixed!" she added hastily, before Ian could thump again. "It's easy to fix, but the battery's dead. And we can't charge the battery until the ship's repaired."

He relaxed at that. At least he wouldn't be stuck like this. "So poor Sandy's running around in Ian's body," remarked Vicki. "I hope he's not getting into too much trouble."

"Poor _Sandy?_" thought Ian.

"Speaking of trouble, we really ought to go see if Grandfather and Barbara are all right. And find out what's wrong with the TARDIS." She turned to Ian. "Just...wait here. We'll be right back."

Vicki and Susan hurried out of the room. After a few seconds, Ian hopped down from the desk and followed them. He didn't feel like following any orders at the moment, and besides they'd left the door wide open.

After a few false starts and a bit of stumbling, Ian managed to get the hang of coordinating his new limbs. He went out into the hallway, quickly growing accustomed to this way of moving. What was still disorienting were his senses. It was so iweird/i seeing the world in black and white. And he was still having vision problems. His eyes were on the sides of his head now, giving him a much larger range of view, but terrible depth perception. It didn't help that now he couldn't see anything straight on.

But what weaknesses his eyes had were compensated by his other senses. His sense of smell was excellent. The scent trails left by the girls were so vivid he could practically see them. He could smell the trails left by all five of the ship's occupants as they had come and gone down this corridor, each sent with its own distinct who and when. His whiskers picked up every little air current, a feeling that was difficult for him to describe. And his ears seemed to have a mind of their own. It was a strange, almost involuntary, feeling whenever they moved to catch another sound. They amplified noise, too. Not only could he hear the ever-present TARDIS hum, he could distinguish between the sounds that made up the hum. He could hear several different sets of footsteps and voices. Voices that were talking about him.

He decided to see what was going on.

* * *

"Grandfather, what happened?"

"Hmm? Ah, there you are, Susan, Vicki," said the Doctor. "I'm afraid Chesterton here had a little accident with the wiring." The girls gasped at the sight of Ian's body on the exam bed.

"Is he dead?!" Vicki's voice was almost hysterical.

"Goodness, no, child! He's only out cold, but he's not in good condition. Electrocuted himself."

Both Susan and Vicki looked visibly upset. It was only supposed to be a joke. They hadn't intended for things to go so wrong. "Don't look so concerned, I can assure you he will be perfectly fine. Right now, however, we've got a problem on our hands. The artificial gravity is out of alignment and I'm not sure what all else is offline. I need you two to go to the console room and mend all of the broken wires, and then wait for me. I must see to Chesterton first, then I'll be in to finish the repairs."

The girls nodded and set off. From the other side of the medical bay, Barbara asked about some supplies and the Doctor walked over to assist her. Behind him, a small brown rabbit hopped in.

Ian looked up at his body on the exam bed, cocking his head to one side to get a better look. There was something fascinating yet very, very disturbing about an out-of-body experience. Well, out-of-ispecies/i experience, actually. "So if I'm in Sandy's body," he thought, "then that must be Sandy in my body. I wonder how he feels about all this?"

His nose twitched and he caught the scent of his own burned flesh. "And what's he been up to?" He swayed a bit as the ship rocked back and forth a few times. The sound of approaching footsteps make his ears twitch and he quickly ducked behind one of the empty beds as the Doctor and Barbara came back over.

"...automatic force field keeping him on the bed. If he comes to, he can get up, but in the meantime it will prevent him from being thrown off," the Doctor was saying. While his back was turned, Ian moved out a little to get a better look at what they were doing.

"Now, I realise I can be a bit, eh, harsh with the boy, but I never expected him to go and do something like this! I mean, Chesterton's a perfectly intelligent young man." The Doctor wrung his hands. "Pass me that medikit…" Barbara did so ,and the Doctor proceeded to treat the electrical burns.

Ian sat back on his haunches, feeling smug. So the old fellow really did care!

The moment was too good to last, for the Doctor turned around and spotted him. "And that blasted rabbit's loose again!" he said irritably, "I've told them a thousand times to keep that thing in their room!" He started towards Ian, who scurried away. Unfortunately, with his poor eyesight, he didn't see Barbara until he crashed into her legs, and before he could react he found himself picked up yet again. He squirmed to get free, but she was surprisingly strong.

"Why don't I go put Sandy back in his hutch?" she asked.

"That would be very helpful. I've got enough trouble around here with a damaged ship and Chesterfield in this state!"

Barbara started out the door and down the hall. If she didn't know any better, she'd swear the rabbit was sulking. "Come on," she said gently. "Let's get you back where you belong." She kissed its little head and its ears sprang up. With one hand, she stroked its back hoping that it would stay calm while she walked. After a few moments, it leaned up and bumped its nose on her chin.

The ship swayed a few more times, but other than that there was no trouble. When she tried to put the rabbit back in the cage, though...

"Stop that!" she said. Sandy wasn't making this easy. He'd stuck out all four paws and braced them on the door frame, refusing to go in. She pulled him back and tried again, but he only struggled harder. He tried climbing up her arms, then the outside of the cage, then he started thrashing about in her hands. Finally she'd gotten him in by holding his front paws together. "There we go! Was that so difficult?" She'd never seen a rabbit look so put out before. As she went to close the door, the ship gave a sudden lurch and she fell down.

Sandy promptly seized the opportunity and jumped, balanced on the edge of the frame, then leaped to the floor. Barbara made a grab for him, but he danced out of reach and scurried off down the hall. She sighed in frustration and ran after him.

Ian ran as fast as his legs would carry him, having zero desire of spending the day caged. He only stumbled a few times, but quickly recovered. Behind him, he could hear Barbara in hot pursuit. Of all the things he could be running from, he never expected to be running from her! He turned a corner and scanned the corridor for a hiding place, but didn't see any likely places. Wait, there! An air duct with the grating open. He quickly ran over and climbed inside...

...only to discover that instead of a horizontal duct, it was a sheer drop.


	2. Furry Little Solution

Luckily for Ian, it was a short drop. He crashed through an unlatched grating and landed unhurt in a half-full laundry hamper. For a few minutes, he just lay there panting, then sat up and looked around. He was surrounded by wicker walls. It would be almost insulting to escape from one cage only to be trapped in another like this, he figured. Judging the distance carefully, he leapt. He caught the top of the hamper and managed to tip it over and tumble out.

"I don't remember the wardrobe room being downstairs," he thought as he recognised where he was, although he was in a part of the room he'd never been before. He set off down the overflowing racks of clothing, searching for a way out. Partway down another aisle, the path was blocked by a large trunk. It was easy enough to hop onto it and down the other side, but before he continued on his way he stopped and considered the trunk for a moment. There hadn't been much time to experiment with leaping...

Now that he wasn't in much of a hurry, he wondered if he might take some time to see exactly how high he could jump. "Oh, what the hell?" he thought, "Not like anyone's watching." Backing away, he tried a running start. After some practise, he found he could leap over the trunk in a single bound. It was actually quite a thrill, being able to jump several times your own height. Granted, being a little smaller than a housecat, it wasn't particularly high, but from his perspective it was amazing all the same.

He sat on top of the trunk, feeling satisfied with himself. A quick rest to catch his breath and he was on his way again. Eventually he came to a spiral staircase and regretted his decision to expend most of his energy leaping over the trunk. Still, he didn't want to hang around the wardrobe room all day, so he started climbing.

* * *

Susan and Vicki finished patching the last of the wires. There hadn't been that many that needed repair. When the Doctor finally came to survey the damage, he concluded "They're only unplugged, which is fortunate. It could have been much worse. You girls can run along now; I only need to reattach them in the correct positions."

"Do you know how they go, Grandfather?"

"Yes, yes, of course!" he insisted. They left, eager to get back. "Well, I know where most of them go. I should. Simply a matter of trial and error for the rest."

The first thing they noticed when they returned to their room was a distinct lack of rabbit. "Ian?" asked Vicki. No answer. Worried, they searched the room, calling out for him. The only response they got was from Barbara, who had given up her own search and was on her way back down the hall.

"Ian's in the med bay, girls," she said. "He's been injured."

They spun around to face her. "Oh, no!" exclaimed Susan. "That's awful. Is he all right?"

Barbara blinked. "No...he's injured. And Sandy's loose again."

"Where is he?" Vicki asked urgently.

Barbara pointed down the corridor. "I tried to put him back in his hutch, but he jumped out and ran down there. I don't know where he went." Without waiting to hear more, Vicki took off down the hall in the direction Barbara had indicated. "What...?"

"I should help her look," said Susan, following her. Barbara stared after the girls in confusion. She'd seen them in the med bay; they knew perfectly well where Ian was. Why were they looking for him in their room? She added it to her list of things to think about later. Right now, she was more concerned with Ian's recovery.

Susan caught up with Vicki, who was examining an open air duct. "I think he might have gone in here," she said.

Susan crouched and peered down the duct. "It looks like it leads to the lower half of the wardrobe room," she said. "Let's go look."

* * *

He made it to the top, exhausted. "Just how old _is_ Sandy?" he wondered. "That rabbit's out of shape." Looking around, he found he was in a part of the wardrobe room that he recognised. He hopped toward the doors, but despite being automatic they failed to open. It was probably because of the damage to the ship. Pushing with his front paws didn't do anything and the handles were too high for him to reach, so he looked around for another way out. As luck would have it, there was another air duct on the adjacent wall behind a rack of dresses.

Paws weren't quite as dexterous as say, opposable thumbs, but he managed the latch in the end. The two hinges on top squeaked as he lifted the grating up and climbed inside, making sure to check that there was actually a floor to stand on. It was roomy enough for a rabbit inside. He picked a direction and set off.

Meanwhile, the door of the wardrobe room slowly slid open as Vicki and Susan took a handle each and pulled.

"He could be anywhere in here," said Vicki.

Susan called for Ian a few times and waited. When he didn't show himself, she turned to Vicki. "It'll be easier if we split up. You look around here and I'll search the lower level."

* * *

It was slow going as the ship would occasionally jerk around or the floor would tilt up and send him sliding backwards. Ian reckoned he had gone through several hundred yards of duct before he finally found another grating that would open. The hinges were rusty and protested as he pushed, but he finally got it wide enough for him to squeeze through. Sitting up, he took stock of his surrounding.

Somehow, he'd wandered into some sort of garden. It could have passed for a park had it not been for the familiar roundel-covered walls of the TARDIS. If he wasn't mistaken, there were thin clouds hovering near the high ceiling. There was a heavy mist in the room, which explained why the grating was so rusty in the first place.

He'd never been in here before, and he wandered down a little path running between the trees. There were some leafy plants he couldn't identify and he leaned in for a quick sniff. He surprised himself when he started nibbling it! He backed away quickly.

Why had he done that? He wasn't a rabbit. And how was mind-swapping possible? His brain was much bigger than a rabbit's; it shouldn't even be able to fit in a rabbit skull. So it couldn't have been their brains physically swapping, just their minds. Thinking about it was starting to make his head hurt. He went back to nibbling to help him think. His mind in a rabbit's body. Was he starting to become the mask? He knew perfectly well he was human, but if he stayed like this for much longer, would he still be? But he wouldn't be stuck forever. No, he only had to wait until the ship was repaired and the girls would be able to put him right. The real question was how much time would it take?

He started a bit as he noticed he'd eaten all of the leaves on that plant. Yes, it was definitely time to leave. But first he had to go sample those delicious-looking zinnias...

* * *

Barbara sat in the medical bay next to Ian's bed. He was still out cold, but for some reason his nose kept twitching. It was strange how he'd just lost control like that. It seemed so out of character for him. Was the stress of time travel finally getting to him?

A sudden movement caught her attention. Ian was waking up. She stood up. "Ian?" she asked as his eyes fluttered open, "How are you feeling?" He turned his head to look at her but did not respond. His nose twitched harder, and his mouth moved a little bit as if he wanted to speak. "Do you need some water?" His head moved in what was vaguely a nod, and she turned to go get him some. She'd barely gotten halfway across the room when she heard a thud, followed by a loud scream.

Ian had fallen off the bed and was flailing around on the floor, trying to use his limbs but not succeeding. "Ian!" she cried, running to him. He hadn't stopped screaming and she put a hand against his cheek to try and calm him down. "Ian, it's okay! You're in the med bay. You've had a terrible acci-AAAAHH!"

He _bit_ her!

She jerked her hand away and he continued trying to run away, but his limbs were still weak. Barbara grabbed a tool off the tray she'd brought the supplies on. It was called a hypospray, and it worked a bit like a syringe only more effectively and without the pain. The Doctor had filled it with a sedative and had instructed her to use it should Ian relapse. She figured this was exactly what he was talking about. If he kept this up, he'd hurt himself even more."Ian? It's okay. Everything's going to be all right." She tried to make her voice as soothing as possible.

All it took was one quick press on the side of his neck, and he was sound asleep again.

* * *

After the zinnias and a couple of snapdragons, Ian crawled back into the air duct and continued on his way. He made it a few yards when he noticed that the hum of the TARDIS changed pitch slightly. Odd, but he kept going until he suddenly hit a wall. Wait, not a wall...a force field? Ian tried to walk forward again, but this time he was rewarded with a mild electric shock.

To his surprise, the slightly shimmery wall moved toward him. He had no choice but to back away. Was this some feature of the ship to clear debris from the ducts? Not eager to see if the field would increase in intensity, he started running. The force field stayed six inches behind him.

He skidded to a halt at an intersection to find another shimmering wall blocking the way he had come. Trapped! No, wait. The other path was open. As soon as he started down it, the two force fields merged into one and continued following him. He didn't want to think about what might happen if it caught up to him. Focused on running, he didn't see the wall that shimmered into existence ahead of him until he ran into it.

To his left, a grating swung open. Without hesitation, he dove through it. It swung shut of its own accord, and he heard a small click as it latched itself shut. The message was clear: no re-entry.

The room he'd been herded into was dark, but he didn't need to see anything to know where he was. A few sniffs told him that this room was Barbara's. Well, at least he wasn't lost anymore. He sat up and his ears brushed up against something, most likely the underside of her bed. If it was the bed, then the door should be somewhere in that direction, so he started toward it. He tripped on some cloth that had been hanging from the bed and pulled it down on top of himself. As he tried to shake it off, he heard footsteps approaching. Suddenly, the door swung open and dim lights flicked on.

Barbara had found the med bay to be on the chilly side, so she had gone back to her room for her cardigan. What she found was a rabbit wearing it. Thinking quickly, she shut the door before it could dash away again. Then, she cautiously approached the little bunny. It eyed her warily and shuffled a bit. Once she was close enough, it darted back under the bed. Or at least, it tried to. It was tangled up in her cardigan and tripped, giving her time to grab it.

"Gotcha!" she exclaimed triumphantly. She wrapped up the rabbit in the cardigan order to keep it under control. It instantly began gnawing at the fabric. "No!" she said, gently flicking its nose, "None of that!" The expression that crossed its face was almost comical. It looked up at her as if to say "Did you really just do that?" but it stopped chewing up her cardigan.

"There we go. Who's a good boy?" she cooed as she rubbed its chin. The rabbit turned its head like it was embarrassed. It wriggled a bit to try and break free, but it couldn't move its limbs enough to do so. "Come on," she said. "Vicki and Susan have been looking all over for you." She turned to go, but at that moment the floor suddenly tilted. Barbara wobbled, but managed to slide with the tilting until it stopped.

For once she was glad all of the furniture in her room was attached to the floor. The angle of the tilt was much more extreme than it had been previously, and the whole room appeared to be balancing on one corner. She looked up at the door. It was at much too steep an angle for her to climb. She found a comfortable sitting position and looked down at the bunny in her arms. "Well, I guess we're stuck here for a little while."

Unable to move very well because of the cardigan, Ian sighed and resigned himself to being cuddled. Then Barbara started scratching his head and he figured there could be worse places to be trapped. He could get used to this. Barbara running her fingers through his hair, that is. Not actually _being_ the hare. He yawned, suddenly tired. Her touch was slow and gentle, and he could feel his earlier activity catching up with him. He was exhausted.

Barbara cocked her head to listen to the sound the rabbit was making, curled up in her arms. Was it purring? Could rabbits even purr? Its eyes were half-closed, so she assumed this was a good sound and kept petting it. After a while, she felt its paws twitching slightly and saw that it had fallen asleep.

* * *

Susan and Vicki had searched the entire room, but didn't find Ian. They did find another open grating and set off down the hallway again to follow it. The only rooms that were also connected to that duct were small and mostly empty, but then they came to the garden.

"He's definitely been here," said Susan after they'd been searching for a while. "Look, this grating is wide open and he left tracks."

"I think he got hungry." Vicki pointed at the ruined flower bed. They couldn't help but giggle at the sight. "We really shouldn't be laughing at this."

"I know. It's just so ridiculous."

Suddenly the floor shifted and both girls found themselves sliding. They grabbed onto one of the larger trees and ended up sitting on the trunk once the room had stopped tilting. The door was now out of reach. "Oh!" exclaimed Susan. "Now what are we going to do?"

Vicki thought for a moment. "Do you know how to play 'I Spy'?"

* * *

Ian slowly opened his eyes, feeling very comfortable. He hadn't realised he'd been dozing. Upon noticing where his head was resting, he quickly lifted it up and was suddenly thankful that bunnies couldn't blush. Then he saw what had woken him; the floor was tilting back to its usual angle and Barbara was getting to her feet. She was going to try and put him in that hutch again, and knowing her she was likely to succeed this time.

Barbara stretched to relieve the tension in her back after sitting for so long. As the ship finished righting itself, the lights on the ship flickered to full power. The Doctor had finally finished the repairs. For some reason, this seemed to make the rabbit in her arms perk up, ears alert. She adjusted her grip and started walking to Vicki and Susan's room.

She met up with the girls in the hallway about halfway there. They had been checking another air duct, but on seeing her with the bunny, Vicki stood up and happily exclaimed, "Oh, thank goodness! You found Ian!"

Barbara stopped short. "What?"

Vicki covered her mouth at her slip. "Um...I mean..."

"She meant Sandy," Susan said, trying to cover.

This had gone on long enough. The girls had been acting suspicious all day, and their behaviour had set off enough red flags for Barbara to figure out that there was definitely something up. "Girls," she said, "is there something you'd like to tell me?"

"No..."

Barbara raised an eyebrow. "Really? Only I know Ian doesn't normally chew through important wires, and you two have been acting oddly. Now I'm going to ask you again: what have you been doing today?"

They exchanged significant looks at each other, then back at her. "Well," began Vicki, "we may have had something to do with this."

"A bit."

"A bit, yes. But we never expected it to get so out of hand!"

"It was just supposed to be a joke, but then something went wrong-"

"Ian's the rabbit, Barbara," said Vicki with perfect seriousness.

Barbara didn't know how to respond to that. It was impossible. But the rabbit had stiffened in her arms. "Ian?" She asked, looking down at it. He nodded. Her face a perfect expression of surprise, she turned to the girls. "You...you turned Ian into a _rabbit?!_"

"Oh, no! Of course not," said Susan. "They've just swapped minds."

"...what?"

"It was only supposed to be a joke!" they protested. "It wasn't supposed to go like this, of course. We were only trying to teleport Sandy onto his head, but something happened and…"

Barbara tried to understand all the technical jargon they were going on about, but she was still having trouble processing the fact that Ian was now small and furry and she was holding him. And the way she'd been treating him...oh, this was going to be awkward. After a few minutes, she held up a hand for them to stop.

"Wait, you said this was a joke?" she asked. "So this _was_ about getting back at him for turning you purple!"

"...well, we were purple for days," said Susan.

"Right. Now, I think this practical joke war between the three of you has gone on long enough." Both girls and rabbit protested at that. "_Ah!_ I don't care _who_ started it, I'll finish it!" she snapped. "You two are old enough to know better than to do…do…whatever _this_ is, and _you_" she waved a finger at Ian, "ought to stop egging them on." He huffed and tried to cross his front paws, but was hampered by fabric. She started unwrapping him from her cardigan. "Now, girls, I don't know exactly what it is you've done, but can you undo it? _Quickly?_" They nodded. "Good. Go put him right and apologise to him properly." She moved to hand Ian over to Vicki, but he balked. "No, you go with them unless you want to be eating carrots for the rest of your life."

He allowed Vicki to take him.

"And girls?" Barbara began. "If he's not back to normal in two hours, I will tell the Doctor." They assured her that there would be no further problems.

"I have got legs, you know," he thought as he was carried away.

* * *

Ian woke up an hour later in the med bay, aching all over.

"I see you've decided to come back to the land of the living, Chesterton," said the Doctor.

"What?"

He pressed a button on the side of the bed that raised Ian into more of a sitting position. "Yes, you gave us quite a scare earlier."

"I feel awful."

"I'm not surprised. Do you know how many volts went through you, hmmm? You're very lucky it wasn't more, or else you wouldn't be around to have this conversation with me!"

Ian looked down at his hands, relieved to see that they were no longer paws. He ran them over his face to check that it wasn't furry. Nope. Only a few burns.

Misinterpreting his actions, the Doctor went on, "Oh, don't worry. You'll be fine within a few hours. But I still want you to remain in here until we're certain that you haven't gone completely mad as well. And in the future, I think it'd be best if you kept away from the ship's wiring. After all, we can't have this happening again, now can we?"

"Of course not."

"Yes. Now, why don't you get some rest?"

Seconds after the Doctor had gone, Susan and Vicki entered bringing Sandy with them. "Feeling better?" asked Susan.

"I've had worse. What's the matter with Sandy?"

The little rabbit had buried its face in Vicki's shoulder and was trembling. "Oh, he's spooked," she said. "I think being you frightened the poor thing."

"Hey, now! It's not that bad." He chuckled. "May I?" he asked, indicating the terrified bunny. Vicki held it out to him. It kicked a few times, but as soon as Ian had a hold of it, the rabbit flattened itself against his chest, clinging to his jumper. He rubbed its head. "So I believe you two had something you wanted to say to me?"

"We're sorry," they said.

"And we _swear_, we had no idea this was going to happen," said Susan. "We were only trying to do the rabbit out of a hat trick."

"That's close, but it's not exactly how they do it back on Earth," replied Ian. "Just don't ever do that again. If not for me, then for poor Sandy here. I think you've traumatised him!" The rabbit's heart was racing after its unexpected trip.

"Aww." Vicki reached out and scratched Sandy's back. "Sorry, Sandy."

"Anyway, I think Barbara's right," Ian continued, "We've definitely let this thing get out of hand. Truce?" He held out a hand.

"Truce," said Susan. They shook on it. "Do you want to hold onto him for a little while? Only we're going to go disassemble the transporter to prevent any more trouble like this."

"That sounds like an excellent idea. I'll keep an eye on him. Could do with the company." Susan and Vicki smiled and left the med bay. Immediately, the rabbit sat up. Ian thought it was about to run away and grabbed it with both hands, but instead it started pawing at his chest frantically. He lifted it up.

"What's gotten into you?" he asked. The rabbit had such a look of urgency on its face. It was almost desperate, he thought.

Then he remembered that rabbits didn't make faces.

"...Barbara?"

She nodded.

He stared at her in astonishment for a few seconds. Then his brain caught up with the rest of him and, clutching her to his chest, he ran out the door. "Girls, wait!"


End file.
